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About this blog

Journal for my past entries as well as my thoughts today.

Entries in this blog

Bright Star
Quote

Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:13 pm

Last night's loop was an utter failure
4-16-2013
1:15am? until about 7 ish
Twi 3.0 loop
Mood: Feeling slightly better after long venting post (know dang well that it won't solve anything). Heart still pumping hard as result of caffeine intake after not having any for 5 days (is this normal?). Although I can report that I've never been so relaxed during those 5 days without having 1 or 2.....4 cans of pop a day. I should try this more often (the only reason I did in the first place was because I didn't feel like leaving just to grab 24 more cans of pop).
Result: Cat still interrupts at night. iPod dies mid way through. No effects.
I'm not quite sure if I'm doing these loops correctly, I make sure the inductions and awakeners are cut out, I keep it at a low volume enough so I can understand it (and barely hear the binurals) but it's not keeping me awake.
 So I'll go for one round this afternoon and hope to get better results
._BuySomeApples

I can't seem to locate said vent post. If it's the one I'm thinking of, I complained a bit about how my psychology teacher was ignoring stuff from our psychology book, specifically about how to release built up anger. I don't recall the other methods, but the book was suggesting that venting is a way to reduce anger, but not a long term solution. I was mildly offended that the psychology teacher was telling us to ignore the book.

Around this time I was also giving up caffeine since I felt it was affecting my sessions. After the initial crave, I felt a lot better without having to rely on caffeine......however that habit would break several months later :V. I might cover that once I get to that journal.

Also, crap session was crap session.

Quote

Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:34 pm

 
First off, last name change, I swear!
3:28pm
Perfectly Suggestible (edited Earth Peace Night Time in background) + Twi 3.0 Ind+BGM with earbuds.
Mood: Feeling good.
Result: Stronger effects than previous, not as strong as before. Had trouble walking a bit this time and preferred to "sit" on my feet, just for a short while, though.
I don't know if it's just me, but I find it hard to understand the 3.0 file at times since the mic quality is a bit low. I'm almost considering recording the 3.0 myself to see if this will help me any better. Maybe I'll do a bit of research on relaxing techniques later today that will help me achieve trance for longer periods of time (the Twi 3.0 by itself is a long 40 minutes! Plus Perfectly Suggestible that's over an hour!).
 I might start organizing my room a bit tonight after I get my Power Point done for class tomorrow. Maybe then I'll give the cat a place to sleep every night so she doesn't resort to using me as her bed.
 I'm starting to hate my over the ear headphones since for some odd reason it likes to pretend that I only need the left ear to listen from (and only one ear working on a pair of headphones is one of my biggest all time pet peeves). Normally I use these for a single session since it does hold my head up a bit, but this time I just used the earbuds instead.
And in other news, I think I'm going to put myself off caffeine for a long time. Just having one bottle yesterday really threw myself off a bit. For now I'm just resorting to no-caffeine pop, but I'll start finding healthier drinks down the road.
 Your faithful forum poster
,_BuySomeSparkles

"First off, last name change, I swear!"

...aha....haha...hahahahahahah! Yeaaaaaaah...about that.... :P 

Earth Peace Night Time was a binaural suggested on the original Google Doc. I would often edit it as the background of a file to help me with relaxing with the files. Sadly, I'm not sure where to find the file now if anyone has archived it anywhere.

Sessions were starting to show improvement and I started to get the hang of achieving trance. The only issues I had were cats always wanting to snuggle me mid-session. I would sometimes shut them out of the basement where I was, but I always felt bad afterwards since they always enjoyed hanging out with me.

Also, those Turtle Beach headphones were crap.

 
Bright Star
Quote

Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:02 am

Didn't have time to loop at all today (decided that my 3 hours of sleep was a bit more important).
I was reading up on how tulpas are created and maintained and this fascinated me so much, I couldn't stop reading about them. I might want to try it myself when I can dedicate some time to do so. (More interesting than the Migram Experiment that I was supposed to be researching, maybe it's because I know so much about that already and tulpas are a new concept for me.)
I noticed this morning that I'm starting to think a bit in Twilight's voice occasionally and that I tend to use the word "fascinating" all the time. Fascinating! And I think I felt a phantom horn on my way to class this morning when I focus hard (and tried to swerve through rush hour traffic since nopony knows how to share the road and I have to merge three lanes over in a quarter mile in nearly packed traffic to reach my next exit. Driving is fun!).
Quote

Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:18 am

4-15-2013
Noticed slight lowerhooves while taking nap in afternoon.
3:45pmTwi 3.0 Ind+BGM
Mood: Normal, slightly tired
Result: Weaker effects than last time like due to sleeping through parts. Large clink noise from water heater in room may have broken trance mid way through.
Attempted to try using the trigger. I was a bit nervous for some reason trying to activate it, it took me about 5 minutes of hesitation just to say the first word! I'm not sure what I'm nervous about or maybe it's a bit awkward for me to say something when nopony is around to answer back. But I managed to say it. A small "energy" flowed around me, but I didn't notice any effects. Maybe now that I've said it once it'll be easier afterwards, we'll see.
Anyways, loop tonight. Hopefully I can find a way to convince the cat that I'm not its pillow because whenever she lies next to me, my body cannot move around to a more comfortable position because I might roll over on the cat. If I do end up not squishing her, she moves somewhere else next to me which mean I have to move around. (I know she loves me and she probably misses me for being gone a whole week, but I still need my personal space once in a while!) Sometimes when I leave my backpack next to me on the bed she sleeps on that, so maybe I'll try that tonight.
_BuySomeApples

Ah yes, my first time researching about tulpa. Unbeknownst to me, I would have a pretty crazy adventure of my own involving them :V

Thinking back, the biggest thing that kept me from saying the trigger was I had no real way to physically say the trigger at all for any reason. Saying it in public could turn out quite awkward. Saying it in private will probably alert someone that I exist. Also considering that I was living in my aunt's basement at the time, I think I was also worried if I was stuck/caught in pony mode how they would react. Once I got over being able to say the trigger, most of my experimenting was either when I was guaranteed 100% alone or at night when everyone else was asleep.

Also, I complained about cats ruining sessions a bunch before, but I'm starting to miss having one around. They helped me through many of my rough college moments.

Bright Star
Quote

This was a day of failures

4/11/2013

12:02am

7 +/- 2 and Twilight BGM 2.0 by FemV with iPod Shuffle/Earbuds

Mood: Slightly frustrated as iPod dock cable is faulty (note to self, if it's only 5 bucks and the seller sells hundreds on eBay, it's probably not worth it)

Result: No success. Strongest feeling of forehooves yet, no lingering effects

 

12:40am

Blank Mind and Twilight Ind+BGM 1.0 by Taurus with Turtle Beach Over ear headset

Mood: Relaxed from previous trance

Cat interrupts mid-file. Will try again in morning (Wakes up around 10, internet for next 2 hours)

 

12:10pm

Perfectly Suggestible and Twilight Ind+BGM 1.0 with Turtle Beach Over ear headset

Mood: Awake, with slight headache (may have affected trance effectiveness)

Felt relaxed afterwards, but no lingering effects. Took Acetaminophen (off brand Tylenol) to relieve headache afterwards.

So a few days after I started this, I decided to search for my old Generation 2 iPod Shuffle (in the masses of unpacked boxes from said apartment moveout in intro) when I decided to do a bit of sorting while looking for it, stuff that I wanted to keep and stuff that was broken, didn't work anymore, or simply didn't want anymore (I haven't opened most of those for 2 years!). I broke the charging dock for it a long time ago by stepping on it, but I never bothered to replace it since I could just port music to my phone much easier (and now said phone is broken because I decided to drop it 3 stories on a roller coaster. Haven't had a smart phone since.) I bought a Shuffle cable at Walmart and tried to hook that up when I realized that it only works on the Gen 3/4 Shuffles (RAGE!!!!!!!) So I...

Spoiler

returned it and ordered a cheap charging dock from eBay not knowing that it decides to randomly disconnect whenever it feels like it and you have to hold the cable a certain way for it to even be detected and hope that it works for more than 30 seconds before it corrupts the iPod which you have to reset the iPod, but doing that in iTunes actually ruins Gen1/2 Shuffles so you have to download a program from Apple that will fix it but then that program only works in Windows 32 bit mode and I'm running 7 64 bit so I had to find one of my old HDDs with Windows 7 32bit and run it there but it turns out that the program will only work on Windows 2K and XP so I installed that Windows XP emulator thingy and used that to restore that iPod and that worked but that doesn't change that the cable was still faulty.

So I finally just went ahead and ordered an Official one from Amazon (hoping that it would work because it was used and occasionally they don't sell the correct item. (Orders N64 S-video cable NO YELLOW PLUG! Receives S-video WITH yellow plug. It makes a big difference in quality.) But it came and it works perfectly, so now I'm happy that I don't have to re-position my craptop closer to my bed every night.

I noticed that I was a bit more picky with shoveling the sidewalk (Winter Wrap up was weeks ago, Pegasi!), making sure that the whole sidewalk was shoveled, all the snow was removed, the edges were straight, ect.

Noticed slight pressure in "tail" area when sitting for a few minutes.

Hair still bugs me.

Will try Bedtime relaxation and Twi 2.0 loop tonight and see if it'll work out better.

 

Going to quickly mention first that the "Perfectly Suggestible" file I used here is currently not recommended to use due to unintentional effects lasting long after the file. At the time of this entry is was a tacked on WMM file added to the original G-Doc as a suggestion for those who are having trouble with trance. If I do recall correctly, there is a file in the works that is supposed to be a much safer replacement that would help out only alongside the use of files of your choice.

That being said, my thoughts today:

This is one of those rare entries where I actually properly document hypnosis progress. I fondly remember the struggle of just getting my old iPod Shuffle 2G just to simply work so I can listen to the files without having to awkwardly wear my giant turtle beach headphones for sessions, especially for night loops. Funny enough, I actually dug that out a couple days ago, and even  _now_ the struggle is still real! (In this case, I have a working charger, but for some dumb reason the only way it will charge is if iTunes is running, it's plugged only into the computer, and it's set to "Disk Mode". Otherwise, it will not charge. :V). Still though, I personally recommend using a small mp3 player/iPod over using a cellphone or computer to listen to files, mainly being the smaller device is much easier to handle vs a larger clunkier device that will probably get interrupted with notifications and whatnot.

Now, there is a small part 2 to this journal:

Quote

Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:33 pm

<<<<<<

That happened much sooner than I expected.

This seems odd, but let me explain.

This was the moment I swapped out my name from "_Applebloom" to "_BuySomeApples" and started using a Twilight avatar. It's a small moment that didn't seem to get noticed too much, but still a big part for me nonetheless~

Bright Star
Quote

 

Before this point, I have been switching from Twilight to Fluttershy to Pony Ears for the past 2 weeks. Most results included being inturrupted by cat and getting fore hooves, butt and phantom tail before losing all effects after trance. Decided to settle on Twilight when I decided to start the journal.

4/10/2013

Looped Twilight FemV version 2.0 after 30 min of Theta waves music 

No lingering effects. Awoke by second alarm (first alarm goes off 6:10, second goes off 6:45). Normally I just sleep until the sun shines through my window waking me up and then I have to hurry through traffic to make it to class by 8. This time I left pretty early and made it 5 minutes early. On Monday for my psychology class, we had to write in our forums what made us happy recently and why. I wrote down "Got taxes done on time. Starting to be on time for things in general." (What are we, third graders?) What surprised me today (Wednesday) was that they both involved being on time! My instructor told me she noticed that I certainly have been on time and that made me feel a bit giddy. I also noted that I participated much more in class than ever before (normally I would hide behind my laptop waiting for class to finish up).

When I got into the car to go home for the day, I decided to stop by the mall and take a walk for a bit. This time, I noticed that the hair on my forehead bugged me a bit unless I split it down the middle. I go for a 2 hour walk when I noticed that the tiled floor did make me feel a bit dizzy looking at it. Knowing that I can easily achieve hooflock during trance, I decided to start at it for a bit (while hoping nobody walks in front of me) and made my arms completely relaxed. For the next five minutes, I couldn't open my hands up and trying to open them felt pretty weird. [[Achievement Get: Lingering effects activated via floor tiles]].

Normally I like to browse through Barnes and Noble to see what programming books are avalible and hope they finally have a Unty book (they never do). But then I noticed a book called "Joel on Software" on the shelf. (Gee, where does the name "Joel" ring a bell for me). I decided to read a random chapter and came across an interesting passage:

Quote

"As it turns out, if you give [a programmer] two things to work on [at once], you should be grateful if they "starve" one task and only work on the other, because they're going to get more stuff done and finish the average task sooner. In fact, the real lesson from all this is that you should never let people work on more than one thing at once.

This reminded me of my internship. Long story short, they gave me a 6 page paper of the task they wanted me to do and this overwhelmed to the point where I almost couldn't start working on it. Even after a month of working on it and I still never finished the first thing they had me do. This showed me my programming skills were falling a bit behind, but looking back had I split up the tasks (and managed my time better) I could have easily done it right the first time.

I was also updating my half.com account when I noticed two books I had put up for sale. Looking at the titles, both involve 3D graphics and texturing, I decided that I probably needed those books and suspended them. 

So yay, long first day journal, but I hope the read was worth while.

 

So little "_Applebloom" decided to start off her first entry. Looking back at this, I think the Tw1light part of me wanted to start off with a bang and give a ginormous first entry. At the time I didn't think I had gone too much into detail, but I guess it just goes to show that you'll never notice the personality effects right away until way later. I don't remember if I noted it later on, but I did eventually buy the book and read a nice chunk of it once on a train ride to visit my family years later. 

This was a sample of my small "slice of life" journals that often took place in my journals. I certainly won't repost every single entry, but and significant ones I spot I will give out a new comment or two.

Bright Star
Quote

Here's a bit of background information about me.

I'm currently in college for Game Design and Development (although the college has been phasing out this program for the past 2 years now and I wouldn't recommend it anyways.) I've only got 2 weeks yet before I finish all my classes so after that it's the tedious task of finding a job in programming for a game company hopefully in the midwest area so I don't have to move so far away I'm probably going to self teach myself more programming stuff before I look out for a job since I think my skills are a bit lacking compared to my peers (curse you procrastination skills and curse you college teachers for making me think that procrastination was good!)

So far hypnosis wise, I've had very little luck. It all started in my Junior after prom where there was a hypnotist there. He asked for a bunch of volunteers, and I decided to try it out. Now to this day, I have no idea if I was properly inducted as I still was able to remember the events of it shortly after the trance (and someone called me out on it saying I faked the hole thing...did I?), but maybe me waking up mid-performance is a sign that it didn't work out for me. The only thing I remember from it is when the hypnotist called out certain words like "I was from [[place]]" then I would spontaneously call him out saying that I hated him for no reason. Anyways, somebody probably made a recording of it, but I still have yet to see it myself (I'd like to, just to see if it would have worked). The next day I told my mom about it and she wasn't very happy about it. So the next prom we had a magician instead (still a good one, though). Boy, I'm sure my mom felt so proud.

Fast forward 2 years later. By then I was living on my own when I found a video by Freddie Wong about hypnosis and he linked to the induction they used, which I tried and felt relaxed afterwards. I didn't do much after that since I had a stressful life then from college progressively getting worse and worse in quality to being kicked out of the apartment when [[insert personal family problem here]].

Now interest sparked again in probably December. This time, I found one that makes you think you shrank (I was curious, and it turned out it existed!). It was probably the first time I ran into a real trance feeling....when the cat decided that I was its pillow and broke the trance.

Now comes Mid-march when EQD posted about a video about pony hypnosis. Being slightly curious, I decided to try it out, again, with the cat deciding to barge in. Then I decided to check out some of the journal posts and noticed how life changing this could be, so I thought I'd start a journal about my own adventures.

So why Twilight? She's the one I could relate to the most. I'm already introverted for the most part, but I think my study skills are progressively getting worse and worse and I think this might help me get back on track (and in the 2 weeks that I've tried this, it has!)

So I hope you all enjoy this!

_Applebloom

PS: Why "_Applebloom" if this is a Twilight journal? Well, considering there's no Applebloom file and because best filly. (That, and I'm curious to see how nuts I will go over the name later on).

Fun fond memories of starting off my own journal. Before this, I got super excited reading about other ponies' progress on their own journals. I never planned on making an account or starting my journey with the files (let alone a journal). Eventually, I ended up having to make an account because I wasn't able to read specific entries without an account since at the time you could only see pictures on the site as a member. One thing led to another and soon I asked for my own journal and this was the result. Of course, I never knew that I would end up writing over 300 entries after this :V

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