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      Nightmare Night Raffle   09/29/2017

      Greetings Everypony, This October is the run up to Nightmare Night. For the community I shall be holding a raffle which would bring in such fun.  To join in the festivities I will give the community a few ways to gain entry into the raffle: -Change your discord avatar to one of your character in costume, with a username to match. (See -Witch Luna /Batlestia as an example) -Make 10 posts to the forum throughout the month, This includes replies, You may do status updates, but only once a day. Journals count as 2 posts. -Donators automatically get one free entry You may have more than one ticket and we have many prizes coming your way. Winners will be given on a first drawn, first choice basis, a selection of different prizes. If anyone has any prizes such as steam keys to give away, you will also receive an entry for helping. Good luck and Happy Nightmare Night. -Luna & Celestia

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  1. Today
  2. Yesterday
  3. "I hurt much more than any time before, I have no options left again.
    I don't want to be the one the battles always choose; 'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused.

    I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream. I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean. I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright"

    1. Starlight Glimmer
    2. Thund3rDa5h

      Thund3rDa5h

      Sunny, in the end you will be alright.  You just have to have stand up and fight.

  4. Night Owls

    This place has far too little activity, seriously. I don't know if it's just me or it's the files, but I've been feeling like I'm sleeping wrong or something. Does anyone else feel that way? Sometimes I actually go outside and walk in Luna's moonlight. The stars are always so beautiful and I can point out the many constellations as it all seems to just come together. I once even ran out into the woods in my backyard and took a stroll through all of the overgrown trees and autumn leaves in my pajamas and a sweatshirt with nothing but a few glow sticks. Does anyone else feel this way?
  5. Last week
  6. A new mental image?

    So I tried listening to the Applejack files again, this time after looping a trancing/susceptibility file for an hour or two. The results are... interesting. No imposition that lasted past the end of the file, visual or tactile, and I don't think my mental processes are going differently. But my immediate mental image of how my head looks has been replaced by how Applejack's head looks. I can still remember how I actually look, and looking in a mirror still shows my actual face, but my first thought when I reach for an image of my head is now "Applejack's head". Only time will tell if this will last until the morning.
  7. Anxiety: Understanding and Removal

    Thanks! I think that was mentioned as an aid meditation...at least something similar.
  8. Well, ever the efficient pony I am, it's time for the introduction that I previously mentioned. I guess it'd be best to start of by introducing the star of the show. The most brilliant pony that currently inhabits my brain. {The name's Nibbles. I don't have any nicknames but if you'd like you can go ahead and do that. } Since this blog is to document mine and nibbles' progress to sentience, although really that's just a step along the way to full imposition of his form, I feel it's good to mention that this is the first time Nibbles has ever communicated, via text or otherwise, and I'm immensely proud of him. We've only been on this road for about 4 months now, and we've already made some great progress. But still, there is a long road ahead, and all we can keep doing is pushing on, until we get to where we're going. Now, I know that I had mentioned a recap post to cover all that we have already done, but due to college starting back up shortly after I started this, I've struggled to get this done while balancing collegework at the same time. So instead of one big recap post I will likely begin to occasionally add side-notes, describing any events that i recall from the first few months, to update posts that I will hopefully be more frequent with in future. Sorry for the ramble, I just felt it necessary to explain. {Thanks for reading, we'll be back soon enough. And remember, watch this space.}
  9. IRC

    I think the Discord is a huge upgrade. I like it better than the old IRC.
  10. I don't even remember that last time i was THAT sick. glad it's almost over. 

  11. I have a question I need to ask.  I am a newcomer (yes I have read all of your guides, they were done very well by the way, you did good), and I want to get into to this.  However, I am very busy.  I read somewhere on the forums that a good rule of thumb to how many times to listen to the files is once or twice a week.  I know things like this take time, and I was wondering if that is where I should start.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    1. Star Shard

      Star Shard

      I think that is a pretty good way to start if you are busy. Its not to little and you can always add more sessions when you find the time. 

       

       

  12. //sidenote: (ContentType.HUMOROUS == BoneType.HUMERUS) returns 'true' I should hope this thread is self explanatory.
  13. Please don't waste time worrying about me, guys... it'll be okay

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Thund3rDa5h

      Thund3rDa5h

      "Sunny.  Don't say that.  I will always be there.  I don't like it when you hurt.  I don't want to lose you.  I love you."

    3. Ethanland

      Ethanland

      I'll spend my time how I want, and if I want to worry about you, I'll do just that

    4. shiron222

      shiron222

      ^ Who are you to tell us what's a waste and what isn't, huh? What kind of friends would we be if we DIDN'T worry? Just...please take care of yourself, even if it's hard with your situation.

  14. Gotta love being woken up by Amber Alerts -_-

  15. Alive, but Not Well

    This is something we all deal with at one point or another. And I can tell you this...life does not have inherent meaning...and we are selfish to a great degree. Despite these two things...life has meaning if you GIVE it meaning. Do what you enjoy or what makes you happy, not because of some higher calling, but because it makes you happy...and in regards to that selfishness, that you are aware of that is good and it means you can temper it. Force yourself to be the exact opposite of it...and understand and accept that a certain amount of selfishness is important for your happiness. And...people, whether they are ponies like ourselves, humans, or some other creature like dragons might be different, we might not be able to avoid arguments, but that too is a part of life *sighs* We contain multitudes. Our selfishness is only one part of the picture. Our generosity and kindness are just as real. You might be selfish, but you're also selfless. You might care about yourself, but you also care about others. It's easy to betray those you care about...so painfully easy, but you can choose not to. We all lie to ourselves and others...but we can just as easily choose to be honest. We might laugh at others hardship, but it's just as easy for us to laugh for somepony that needs it...and we can choose to close ourselves off from new experiences, but we can just as easily grow. These bleak discoveries you made aren't wrong, but they aren't entirely true either. Push yourself to be more than you are, because in the end you will be happier and better for it. Please, don't let these realizations bring you down. Keep going, keep doing what makes you happy, never give up, and above all never forget that for all our faults we can work to overcome them. This video...perfectly captures what it means for there to be no inherent meaning to life...It's sad, and painful, and scary, but in the end find joy in the journey, pleasure in the act of living, and happiness in your own existence. *sighs and hugs* Please don't give up. For yourself and those around you, because by giving up you resign yourself to unhappiness. Accept that there is no meaning...and MAKE meaning.
  16. Hearts are fragile things... So many things relying on something so brittle and fickle...

  17. Alive, but Not Well

    I try to stay upbeat and happy. I often times do, being optimistic and joyful and finding the bright side of now and the brighter side of the future. But, when I sit down, and I think to myself, away from prying eyes and judging hearts, I find very different thoughts. I find that life, all life, is completely meaningless. I find that I am not one of the mere handfuls of people across human history that have made an impact on the world, and one that would last throughout the ages. I find that even those small handfuls have no claims to greatness themselves, their achievements having been diluted and changed and destroyed, until only their name remains of them. Moral standing and valor only benefit those you know now, and will be forgotten before the generation is over. Every single thing a single human is capable of doing is worthless in the grand design, and with so many of us there is no loss if you die or destroy yourself. I find that there can never be peace for the individual. There is always a discrepancy between and two; that is the definition of being different. While many are similar, there is no identical person, and those you love are often even more estranged from who you are. Fights and debates must happen then, and while one can strive to avoid them that is all that can be done. Avoidance, running from issues instead of addressing them. So, there is always tension, and there can never be a resolution unless the two are made one, and in that moment there is no longer a relationship. I find that all actions are self serving. Nobody does something without a reason, and even love - even our most selfless emotion - is driven by desires for ourselves. We do things because they make us feel good, or because they satisfy our moral checklists, or because they fulfill our own definitions of what a good life is like or has. If they hurt us, we would not do them voluntarily, we would have to be pushed or forced to. These are the thoughts I never say, the ones I have but did not realize...I suppose it makes sense in some twisted way. The only way to be happy is to become an enemy of sadness, and what better way to fight sadness then to deny its existence to yourself? I hurt. I feel alone and insignificant and apathetic. I feel like I've lost the light, this candle of joy that I held onto so dearly, and I'm seeing the marks on my hands from that so clearly right now.
  18. Eudaimonia and Dharma

    what did I just read?
  19. my birthday is coming up *looks for a pinkie*

    1. Pink Streamers

      Pink Streamers

      I'm not that, but happy 9 day early birthday

    2. twilight pie
  20. Earlier
  21. October 15, 2017 - Ack....

    Good to hear you're free now. *sighs* I'm sorry to hear your family has the audacity to tell you who you are and what's best for you. I'm sure all of us here will support you in being who you're meant to be~. *hugs*
  22. So, loads of things. The big one is that I recently told my family over facebook that I intended on fully transitioning to female. Originally, I got basically nothing but praise for my decision, but I hear nothing about anyone saying otherwise. My curiosity got the best of me and it turns out that a couple close family members feel that I'm wrong with were I'm going and (unintentionally) ridiculed me over my decision. Long story short, words were said between family members and things are kinda broken at the moment I'm okay now, though exhausted and oddly relieved. It might sound a bit crazy, but I'd much rather be told if I'm doing something wrong or that I'm unlikable versus just forcing me to guess. That being said, it's not easy. It will never be easy. I'm glad to have family and friends that have been giving me support these past few days. I'm sick of the fighting, honestly, but I just need to keep moving on and hope that everyone will look past this and keep the peace. -Bright Star
  23. A few minutes ago i had the best trance ever. Even with my mother knocking two times on my door while trancing :Squee:

  24. Patiently impatient.

  25. What power would you most want?

    My answer to this is shape shifting as the major or persuasion as the utility but mundane. In actuality I would likely choose something like Vocifery. Every statement you speak is automatically right even if it is impossible. Downsides of no actual control other than keeping your mouth shut. But that is too OP for the question I myself presented.
  26. Tulpa Guided Meditations

    Focus on kicking flank in PH and getting its content creation back off the ground <3
  27. Team Vampires win, with 3 to 0!

    So... I forgot to make a post about splatfest, but regardless here are the results. team vampires (pearl) surprisingly won 3 to 0! the theme was nightmare night themed with vampires vs. werewolves.
  28. Entry 6: How Long?

    That's... a very good question. Honestly, I'm not sure at this point how much longer I'm going to be around for. I can feel that shadow slowly starting to loom over me, surround and encompass me. I can't deny there's a certain sense of peace about it, knowing that it probably won't be long off that all my problems are done with. But that time isn't yet. Work has been long and rough, but not terrible I suppose... the late/long hours are tough, the people I work with are kinda dumb most of the time, and dealing with people all day isn't really easy. But it pays well, and compared to retail it's both simpler and (slightly) more enjoyable. Other than that, haven't really gotten much of anything done; no story stuff, no drawing, no files... apologies specifically to the ponies that desired to play some DnD with the extreme lack of progress and communication on my end. The mare came back into my life, so that was quite lovely; it was barely a week, but I missed her terribly. She's such a good friend, even if she can't quite understand or see why, and having her around again is... indescribable. Other than that, not much to mention for the past 2 weeks of my life. I'm not sure what comes next... but however this turns out, just know you ponies are amazing, and have been wonderful. Until next time -Sunbeam [Glaical]
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