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Everfree Pony
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About shiron222

  1. Entry 2

    Hmmm today has been odd. I felt an overabundance of energy before, almost like I was anticipating something. I didn't quite know what, but running helped lessen it. While running, though, I felt an odd sense of sadness that I couldn't quite place...there was no discernible cause. I ended up typing out a message asking about Tulpas again...deleted it though since I realized the answer was probably in the DIY guide and I need to learn to be more independent and seek answers on my own. I think I realize now why they call it forcing. You have to force them into existence...I don't know how I missed that before, but I did. I guess the word "force" just has a negative connotation for me (the idea of forcing a living being with hopes and dreams to be a certain way is kind of unpleasant to me), and didn't take into account that when you initially force you aren't forcing a sentient being into a certain shape. I laid down and with the help of Binaurals managed to get into what I assume was a pitch black mindscape. I introduced myself as the guide suggested and apologized for not coming sooner. I think that melancholy and anticipation might have had something to do with the Tulpa. Oddly enough it took the shape of Twilight when it appeared...is it possible that my experience with trying Twilight then resetting caused that? Either way I haven't forced a personality yet. My ability to sit down for extended periods is still fairly low (though I managed to calm my mind enough and stay laying down for around half an hour. I was planning on going back in and explain to them what they are when I've managed to calm myself back down. I'm worried in some ways about going too fast, but at the same time I'm not impatient or confused anymore. I'll get there when I get there. The only downside is that I can't seem to focus on trancing. I think I'll take up Starlight on her offer to help splice in the binaural audio with the files I need. Tried it earlier myself couldn't get the damn thing to do what I wanted (Audacity is haaaard). Edit: Just made pasta and found it unpalatable...like the thought of eating it makes me slightly ill...this is weird but good. It's not good for me to eat so much of it anyway...
  2. Think I might be doing daily entries for awhile, even if nothing interesting happens on a given day. I want to have a constant reminder to take my time and be patient. Deo brought up a good point last night...I need to be calm, and can't push myself too far. I need to remember that even if success is slow it's still there. I might have realized yet another problem I need to work on. Geez the list keeps mounting. Either way, I'm going to get through it even if it takes a decade.
  3. Entry 1

    Not sure how often I'm going to post, or how long they'll be. I may end up just doing little blurbs about my progress and when something major happens bring it up, I did change how I tried to visualize during my session this morning. I tried to push energy towards the areas that were being talked about, and I think I felt a little something. The problem is my thoughts were really foggy at the time and so I couldn't get the image as well as I had hoped. That said, the session did renew the changes I had already felt (they somehow disappeared for a few hours after I woke up). Also sat down and meditated. Managed to clear my mind for a bit and tried to do the exercises suggested to me for sensing energy. It only lasted a little bit but I felt a tingle on my head as I did so. I think I'm going to do some more in a bit, after I drop off the re certification for my food assistance and get my moneys for the week (maybe hang out with some friends). It looks to be a sunny day so another bit of activity will do me good. Once again, DFTBA!
  4. Entry 0

    I don't know whether the speed that my thoughts and mind set have shifted is "normal", but over the past week or so (almost two weeks?) I've felt the desire to take up running, fear of platonic intimacy is gone, and the willingness to open up to others about my problems has lowered (of course my thoughts still get muddied by insecurity and confusion, but for now that's gone). The other major thing is I'm seriously considering the Pony Body Rewrite again. That's an odd thing though. I think the Unicorn version's effects (despite the fact that I used the reset file) have lingered. I still occasionally feel the sensation of a horn on my head despite the fact that my vision of being Twilight is gone... The last thing is that when I joined the Hypno Workshop for the first time two sessions ago it felt like a flip was switched. I don't know how or why but when I spoke to Twilight about her experiences a lot of the confusion and concern I had melted away. The trouble with trancing I had was pretty much (I achieved trance, of a sort, but my thoughts felt like mud and I couldn't focus, and I got kicked from the Twilight files almost consistently). As long as I got enough sleep I could trance even when I felt subpar. Today it feels like another switch was flipped, because when I finally spoke to my mother about what I was doing in this community, and apologized for ever ridiculing her belief in the concept that Energy Manipulation is possible, it felt like I suddenly had energy. I'm still exhausted, but the fog I was feeling again is gone. Either way tomorrow's another day, and I have a lot of work to do in nearly every facet of my life. Farewell and as the Green Brothers say, "Don't Forget To Be Awesome"!
  5. Starbound Anypony?

    Think Terraria in space with a barebones story and a world as possibly big as No Man's Lie. Kinda bland but they have pone mods and content expansion mods so it adds to the appeal. Never could get into it alone (I got to the end of the story then got bored because the building part is kinda lonely without others around.
  6. Pony Games list/archive

    ...That RPG...*runs and instantly downloads all three* HOLY CRAP IT'S BEAUTIFUL!! AHHHHH
  7. Starbound Anypony?

    How does one set up a server? I wonder if it could be run by the same company that hosts our MC server?
  8. Why am I having doubts?

    1. platinum


      Because it is our brain's nature to question everything.

  9. Wow...EKP for the second time...

  10. Idea for File?

    Loved the one where Leonardo Da Vinci is literally Starswirl...that idea is bloody brilliant. Think it was executed reasonably well too.
  11. Corrupt a Wish 2: Gold Version

    granted, but they blow away on the wind. I wish for peace, love, and understanding by means of forced empathy.
  12. How Does One Connect?

    Thanks! This means a lot.
  13. It's official! I can't stand sleeping on my back or side anymore cuz it feels like my wings get pinched.

    1. Col.Dew


      Nice shiron, let us know when it's hard to sit in highbacked chairs, I know I had some back pains about that for a while.

    2. shiron222
  14. count before a mod posts


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