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Silvermoon

The Exchange of Knowledge

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Silvermoon    12

I know I have been silent a lot in here. Most times I only read things in the chat, even more seldom here in the forums. I'd like to say that I was out, Soul Searching. That I had this tremendous insight while meditating a lot. The truth is: Skyrim. On the Switch.

But I have not come here to share my thoughts on that game. I have come here because I really had some thoughts I wanted to share.

The last thirteen month bear the mark of change. A change that couldn't be more unwelcome. I am sure some here know what I mean, as others have gone through the same: The loss of a loved one. Of someone that was close to our soul, close to our heart. Or I'd rather say: is.

I have heard comforting words from many people. Words that are meant to be comforting at least. (Let me just tell you this: Hearing phrases like "they wouldn't want to see you sad" do not help. Especially since they are true. They just drive home that you lost such a significant person.)

I, for one, needed to be alone. I needed to cry out the sadness within me. Needed to keep myself from puking. Needed to know ... that existance doesn't end with death. (That was a scary thought, probably one that kept me alive. That with death would come absolute nothingness ... a fear my loved one expressed before, but I didn't understand. I for one never wanted to get a drooling old ... thing. That is where death was a way out for me. But for him death was the end of existance.)

In times I wasn't busy with work, life, or skyrim (and mario before that, and zelda even before that), my thoughts always turned to: What comes next? Some are sure that we go into another existance after this, others would be adamant that this world is wholly material. And going by scientific knowledge ... there is no proof for either. There can't even be proof for either.

I looked into several spiritual paths, listened to some NDE's ... and I think I will still continue to do so, hoping to find some sort of answer that the scientific part of my mind can accept ...

but there is something I wanted to share. One of the few thoughts that ring very true to me: The answer as to why we are here.

We are here to learn, and to teach. In every encounter we have, we do both: We learn something, and at the same time the others learn from us. They may be very small things. They may be emotional things. They may be scientific in nature. Or simple knowledge. We are always in both roles: Student and Teacher. Those that think they are only one, are sadly mistaken. Those that think they know already everything are sadly mistaken. And those that think they can't teach another anything ... are also mistaken. A baby allows us to learn compassion. A young child shows us how it is to be curious once more. And an old teacher can still learn a few new tricks from their students. Everyone as a whole is always better off through the exchange of knowledge.

I would say that is the extend of what I wanted to share.

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shiron222    106

Exactly! Well said Silvermoon, and those who think that it's easy to get over grief...are fools. Feel your pain Silvermoon, there is nothing that can be said or done to make it go away other than time and your own efforts. Take your time to be alone, Silvermoon, because in the end people can be as much a hindrance as a help. As for learning and teaching others...the people of ES for better have done that for me...I've learned and accepted so much about myself these past months due to hearing other's stories, good and bad. Teach and be taught, learn and learn from. Remain skeptical but open (You are the one who voiced the character files are you not? That's one of the things that they all instill along with optimism if I recall correctly). As for finding answers? Well...sometimes the answers don't come from direct searching but rather simply living. My answer...to become a pony...came by chance. Finding who fit me the best...came by chance...certainly you shouldn't stop searching, but I think...if you want an answer...live your life in a way you can be proud of and one will come.

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AstralAmity    5

I was reading through some of these old posts, and I just have to leave a reply here to say that your post left me in tears just now. I've been... thinking about a lot of my past, and one thing that led me into the fandom was the death of someone incredibly special to me way back in jr. high. She was the one person I could connect with back then, and she happened to be a teacher. I helped her after class to clean, so we had a lot of time together in that classroom... where she taught me to believe in myself. I actually taught her to program, which she showed the whole class before she abruptly passed.

The universe works in mysterious ways... Even though she didn't know about my family circumstances at the time involving myself (which gave me immense shame at the time), she believed in me to the point where I completely flipped my life around and started to just be myself. And things cleared up, I started to realize the majesty of learning and teaching as you mentioned it. That's why I always want to share my knowledge and never stop learning, personally...

...I've been crying too much lately T-T First this morning and now just a few minutes ago. And yesterday, I think. Anyway, thank you for your post. No matter how hard it is for me, I still ought to remember that message of life... 

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